I am home, home after one whirlwind of a year in Cape Town.
I am back in Joburg, the city that will always hold my heart.
Now it’s time to relax and appreciate a period of calm.
For me a holiday has always been a period of catch up, not the DSTV kind but rather everything that I didn’t have that much time for before. Things like reading, writing, art and blogging…. None of which I have done (except for some sporadic watercolour experiment that may or may not have worked out).
I am blocked. My creativity, something which I actually like about myself, has sailed off in the wind and taken its own holiday, or possibly has otherwise melted in this dreadful heat.
Coming home hasn’t been the refreshing break I expected. Sure there are aspects that are great. I get to see people who I have missed but other than that I feel suffocated more than ever before. Mostly it’s due to the weather.
And I know it’s just weather, and I can’t honestly do anything about it but it’s starting to get to my head.
These are my issues:
- It is too hot. Point blank. This is not normal, in fact it is a heat wave linked with drought and suffering that doesn’t bring prosperity to the land in general. It’s suffocating and in fact the need for water increases along with a desire to preserve the liquid as it rapidly disappears which is just conflicting.
Photo by Cara Richmond - I’ve never liked summer. As a pale person even the glimpse of sunlight turns me bright red. It’s bad for my skin and it makes me feel sweaty and disgusting. My hand bag’s contents have completely been made over with the addition of permanent deodorant, suntan lotion, even after-sun. My hair is limp, my skin is shiny and horrid and the heat makes me drowsy and uncommitted.
- “Summer body”. I already suffer from selfdoubt in my body image and this year has bought many conflicting emotions about how I should and shouldn’t look and how I should or shouldn’t feel about that. Every day I stand in front of the mirror and imagine myself with a new body. With a better body. In Cape Town it’s possible to pretend. It’s cold and rainy and layers are ones best friend. And layers my dear readers are the best tricks that I have to covering up and making myself feel better. And now I’m here and it’s too hot for such things. I mean I only own one pair of shorts so you can imagine just how I feel every day trying to keep intact my fashionable image well trying not to turn into a walking talking sweating tomato (with unattractive legs).
- The pollution. With the lack of rain and drenching heat the infamous Johannesburg smoggy sky sit lower than ever and I can’t breathe. For those of you who don’t know, I have asthma and in Cape Town my lungs feel freer and healthier than they’ve ever felt and so returning to the smog my lungs are no longer used to it and every breath I take hurts.
Photo by Cara Richmond - I am lazy. The heat has put me in a lethargic position where I sit and do absolutely nothing. I achieve nothing. I am creatively blocked. And yes I do blame the heat. The heat is overpowering and negative and I don’t know how to deal with it. This puts me in a positon where I am unmotivated to do anything other than sit on my bed and send snapchats.
BUT I still love Joburg. The heat sucks but that is temporary. I am glad to be back in the city that moves, that excited and that is full of energy. MrP (Mr price clothing) ran an Instawalk recently (a walk dedicated to creating relationships within the IGers community and showcases the environment you’re in. it gives those involved an opportunity to practice and share the art of photography) through Newtown in Johannesburg CBD and on a whim we went. It was amazing. Better than anything I’ve seen in Cape Town because it felt real. 
Sure Newtown is a developed area aimed to renew the city but it’s impossible to mask the reality of Johannesburg and the harsh beauty that it exist in. It’s far more tangible than any other city in South Africa and photographing it was possibly the first push I needed to start appreciating my city again. I have been so stuck and hidden by this heat that I had forgotten what I longed for coming home.
These are my loves:
- It sounds strange but the only way you will ever move towards a solution is through conflict and discussion. Johannesburg is consistently struggling through conflicts. There is never complete complacency in this city and that’s what keeps it moving forward and maintains inspirations.
Photo by Cara Richmond - This city is large. I can drive for two hours and not have left the hustle. Johannesburg sprawls on and on. It’s like a never ending blanket that encapsulates you and holds you in its grasp. It’s difficult to escape the city but luckily I don’t want to.
- I won’t pretend to say that Johannesburg is the most colourful city. Cape Town is bright and clean and has walls painted over in different colours that make it bright and exciting. But it’s a show. In Joburg the colours appear dull but they have depth and as an artist that excited me more, that means more than anywhere else I’ve ever been.
- I’m a (wannabe) civil engineer so I love buildings. My family has a deep history with buildings in this country and this city and I am attracted to the structure of Johannesburg. Whether it be the beauty of the skyline and the sheer size of the buildings themselves or the pushing of boundaries with architectural design or the structure of the movement itself. Joburg never rests and you could be caught in a traffic jam at any time of day but there is a chaotic and uncensored order. It’s angry and it’s passionate and it keeps this city on its toes.
- The people (and their clothes). People in Joburg are the most ambitious people I’ve ever met. The reason this place always moves is because the people always move. This is a place where success is possible. It you want peace and prosperity go the winelands if you want competition and fame come to Johannesburg because this is the place where dreams come true.
Thank you MrP for a fantastic walk and for reawakening my excitement for this city.
I am on a mission to take down this writer’s block which cam along with art block and fashion block. You can see in my current expression I’m hot and bothered with slightly skew glasses (because hiding behind colour glass that is basically the size of my face is my specialty). My dungereese is kind of my go to look for summer (find my blog on exactly that here to find out more on how I style it). and the rest of my outfit is a hope that wearing the colours of summer might somehow let me blend into the surroundings and hopefully cool me down ever so slightly.
In this outfit:
Sunglasses – MrP (last season)
Pastel top – H&M
Denim skirt Dungarees – Cotton On (last season)
Shoes – H&M
To my readers. I’m struggling a bit with my writing and my style lately but I’m trying to improve that and I hope to see you again soon with interesting (and better, more creative) blog posts.
Have a good festive season.
X J
Plain Old Glasses 